The Dumbass Demon (Half-Assed Wizard Book 3) by Gary Jonas

Author:Gary Jonas [Jonas, Gary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: urban fantasy
Publisher: Denton & White
Published: 2017-09-20T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“Dude, where are you?” I asked when Michael answered the phone. I stood outside the studio. Kevin placed my guitar in the backseat then sat on the hood of the car to watch me. I paced the lot. A warm breeze blew in off the coast carrying the salty scent of the sea.

“I’m having dinner with Sabrina before we head over to see Demetrius,” Michael said. “She went to the ladies’ room, but she’ll be back soon. What do you want?”

“We have a gig.”

“Sounds good. Where and when?”

“We leave on Friday. It’s going to be a major tour. Worldwide.”

“Oh, well, that could be problematic. Transport for my coffin, for one. Teddy’s job, for two. And don’t forget about Chuck’s wife. On top of that, Sabrina isn’t as excited about singing these days. She wants to do something else. She signed up for a class on painting auras or something.”

“Sabrina, Chuck, and Teddy aren’t invited.”

“I don’t know, man.”

“I don’t know either, but I’m kinda trapped here. We need to talk because this thing could be a freight train roaring into hell.”

“You make it sound so glamorous.”

“It could also include a cure for vampirism, but it’s wonky and I don’t want to make any promises.”

“Nice try. Dude, I gotta let you go. Sabrina’s coming back.”

“But we need to talk.”

“Later.”

And he hung up. Maybe I should have led with the vampirism cure. Not that he’d have believed me that way either. I wasn’t sure I believed it. But I needed a plan.

“That went well,” Kevin said.

“Don’t start,” I said, pointing at him. “Get in the car.”

“We can talk about it, Brett. I’ll have better suggestions than your vampire friend. I’ve dealt with gods before.”

“Apollo doesn’t even like you to be in the same room with him.”

“You should be so lucky,” he said and hopped into the car.

I slid into the driver’s seat, closed the door then pounded on the steering wheel.

“You’ll make good money,” Kevin said. “So you have to blow a god every now and then. It could be worse.”

“Don’t go there,” I said.

“You’re right. I have no idea what kind of kink he’s into. He’s been around for millennia. I’ll bet he’s into some really weird stuff. I wonder if he has centaurs in his dungeon.”

“Stop,” I said.

A tapping on my window made me jump. It was Helen.

“Wait here, Kevin,” I said and got out of the car. I closed the door and faced Helen.

“You moron,” she said. “I warned you to take a dive.”

“He’d have gotten a different guitarist.”

“He can play any instrument, Brett. He doesn’t need you.”

“Then why does he want me in his band?”

“Because you made fun of his lyre. Because he thinks you have a pretty mouth. Because I was stupid enough to think you wouldn’t insult a god.”

“I couldn’t go through life without my manhood.”

“Even if that was permanent, you’d have been better off. Now you’re a slave to a god. Your friend Michael is a slave now too.”

“And you?”

“I’m bound by the contract, but I’m not going to remain his slave.

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